One year and 23 days

The one year mark is something I wanted to write about but it was difficult to find the words. The past year has been many things; good, boring, bad, okay, amazing, hard, stressful, and most of all new. I have a terrible sense of direction and that hasn't changed. To be able to drive to and from work without my GPS was a big success. And despite what my rims may say, I have improved my parallel parking skills. It's been fun learning to navigate a new city. 

This time last year I was pulling out of my parents driveway, Waterfalls by TLC was playing on the radio, my car was packed with the items in life I felt I needed across the country, and I had no idea what lay before me on the open road. It's funny what you think is important enough to bring across the country. For Melissa it was vases and then for some it's two copies of Hot Rod out of only seven total movies that you bring. But that's another story.

Driving to work one day I began thinking about how it felt to pack up my life and leave home. I was wearing a shirt I had last washed at home in Wetumpka a few weeks ago. It smelled like home. In an instant I was being hugged by my mom, sitting at the kitchen table with my dad and my three favorite cats were slinking around the house. It was being within driving distance of some of my most favorite people. The small things are truly what you miss the most. 

In the past year I've asked myself numerous times "why am I here?" The question never comes from regret but from some place of gradual understanding. These are a few things I've learned. 

1. It's okay to cry

The tears will come. They can be both happy and sad tears but they will come. There was a sort of grieving process; the first big holiday away from home, when a family member gets sick, and then the realization that you are starting a life 2700 miles away from "home." It's the close of one chapter and the starting of another and with that, I have found, come many emotions. 

2. Relationships take work

When moving miles and time zones I learned real fast that effort must me made and maintained. Sometimes it's not even the words that I need to hear but just knowing they are on the other line is enough. Then you have the relationships here that are new. You have to learn to be vulnerable and share your life with new people. It's difficult and messy and there are a lot of things I am still learning, about people and myself. 

3. Life is always interesting, you just have to look harder some days

Some days I have to be at work before the sun is even up.  As I cross over the West Seattle Bridge I can just see the sun peaking out over the mountains. It's like some sort of reward for being up so early. Even though it's not fun leaving my warm bed I get to watch the world wake up and on those days where I really have to push myself the beauty of that sunrise is all the encouragement I need to keep going with my day.  

The gradual understanding comes when you realize that not every problem will be solved in a day, missing home comes in both happy and sad times, and being a grown-up is not always fun. The Lord is my provider and the life lessons I have learned, am still learning, and have yet to learn in this one year and 23 days have been well worth it.